Last Thursday we flew to Brisbane to visit my husband's parents. It was a visit that we'd looked towards with reluctance and trepidation as it was the first time we'd seen them since Luke told them he'd been sexually abused as a child. Their reaction had been very discouraging but my brave husband needed to sort this issue out with them so we went.
From the moment of arrival the air was filled with tension, my FIL went through the gestures of greeting us, my MIL went to a workshop instead. When she did arrive home she was "too tired" to cook and then disappeared as early as possible to her room. The next day this pattern continued - every time Luke spoke they ignored him or spoke over the top of him in case he might say something they didn't want to hear. The only person they show genuine interest in or affection for was Jacob.
Finally on Saturday afternoon Luke asked to speak with them and they proceeded to attack us. First of all MIL's health somehow was our fault then we had behaved badly over the weekend then our parenting was at fault. They were not responsible for anything. They also did not believe Luke about the abuse.
So we left.
We packed up our clothes, toiletries and Jacob's toys and left. We got a flight home that night and were so glad to reach the comfort and safety of our own home.
MIL told us she had not raised the issue because she knew we would leave because Luke does not listen. We flew an awful long way and spent a lot of money to be there and all Luke wanted was for them to listen to him and show some concern. If you knew you were in danger of losing your son and grandson would you not try to fix this? Right up until the minute we left they could not unbend themselves to ask him if he was ok or how he was coping.
Luke's psychiatrist told Luke that while he does not support breaking up family relationships, in very rare cases the relationship is too "toxic" to be saved and that in his opinion Luke did everything he possible could to save it.
While Luke is making his peace with this, I grieve for my husband, apart from a brother who seems to be supporting his parents' view point, they are the only family he has.
Luckily my parents seem to love and care for him more than his own. They have been nothing but supportive and concerned through this whole ordeal and treat him as if he was their own son.